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January 25, 2012

What happens when you stop liking something you’ve always liked? Something that’s become a huge part of your identity.

I’ve been a tennis fan my entire life. A big tennis fan. I’ve gone to the US Open here in NY since I was a kid and I’ve always watched all the major and many of the less-than-major tournaments on TV. When I discovered Twitter in the summer of 2009 my tennis obsession reached new heights. A whole world of other tennis fans, tennis blogs, and constant tennis news was open up to me. And I became even more obsessed.

I streamed obscure tournaments on my computer, I followed players’ every moves, I started attending a tourment in Cincinnati with a friend of a friend who I’m now happy to call just a friend, and I even started a tennis blog with that friend.

But now I don’t know. Tennis doesn’t do much for me. After the end of last year’s US Open I just didn’t have it in me to follow the fall tournaments. I figured I was just burnt out and the desire would come back in the new year. But the new year is here and the interest just isn’t there.

The Australian Open is almost over and I haven’t watched a second of coverage. Tonight is the first night I’m even following the scores live. Normally I’d be staying up late and waking up early to watch, but not now.

So my question is, what happens now? Lots of work friends and my friend who I have the blog with are asking me about the Aussie Open and I’ve been lying and pretending like I watch it. Well, not so much lying as just talking to them as though I’ve seen the things that they’re talking about.

I feel like being so immersed in the tennis world has actually made me like it less. And seeing how obsessed other people are makes me want to be the opposite. (This has always been a huge issue in my life, I move away from things once I realize how interested other people are.)

I hope my interest comes back. I like writing the blog with Ashley. I like going to Cincinnati every year. And I like going to the US Open.

If it doesn’t come back what do I tell people? “I just don’t like it any more.” That makes me sound crazy (which I’m sure I am, but…). We’ll see. My life as been so full lately I just don’t feel like I have time for anything else. I don’t see my life calming down any time soon, but hopefully I can find a way to fit tennis in because I do think my life with tennis is better than my life without tennis.

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