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January 17, 2012

I had an interesting g-chat with a friend today:


Natalie: agreed Alexis and i were talking about our state of Melacholia and we were like Maggie never gets sad
me: lol really?
Natalie: yes
me: lol good, i also can’t believe you guys think i’m happy all the time
Natalie: well you arent HAPPY but you dont let stuff get you down
That she and our other friend think this about me really shocked me. It’s not that I think I’m an unhappy person, but, like everyone I feel like I struggle with being happy and unhappy and a whole range of emotions.
My reply to her was this:
i think i have a really healthy perspective and i’ve developed really healthy ways of dealing with sadness, stress, and anxiety
Which is really what I think. I do think I’m an optimist by nature and I don’t know if that’s something inherent or something that can be learned, but I think it’s immensely helpful.
I also believe that my attitude and my ability to put things in the proper perspective and handle things are all choices I make. Every day when I wake up I make a choice to be happy and excited about my day. And throughout the day I make choices that make me happy or to find the good in bad things. (Obviously people with depression/anxiety/etc. don’t have the ability to make these choices, I’m speaking as a relatively mentally healthy person.)
I also think that I’m very good at compartmentalizing and making excuses. There are probably things in my life that should upset me more or worry me more, but I’m very good at shutting them down and not thinking about them or passing them off as someone else’s problem. That is the unhealthy side of all of this.
But it is nice to be considered a happy person and to have two good friends think of me as someone who has a healthy outlook on life.
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